Sometimes Bad Taste Happens...

Every once in a while, I have a fit of bad taste. I bought this shirt off EBay because I wanted something more "girly". Well, it didn't work. I modeled it for my husband who sat there in stunned silence searching for something to say that was nice. I thought it was cute but then I looked in the mirror and thought WTF. It is an explosion of beige, black lace, puffy sleeved death. I wouldn't wish this shirt on my worst enemy it is that bad. But with that thought I think I will still wear the shirt but I haven't figured out where, yet. I am thinking a shirt this bad needs to be appreciated at Christmas dinner at the in-laws house. I think it will spice up the conversation. Better than the "When are you getting out of school and making some money?", questions. Whatcha think? Excuse me for looking like death warmed over but it happens when the devil possesses you and makes you one of his minions. 

Have a Meaty Xmas and a Bacony New Year!

I feel so proud of myself. This is the first time that I totally didn't suck at wrapping a present. Normally, I suck so badly at wrapping gifts that my husband snatches the gift out of my hands to put me out of my wrapping misery. The last gift I had to wrap actually required very little wrapping. I placed some towels in a bag with some tissue paper but by the time I was done with it looked like it fell off the back of truck and was run over a couple of times before I put it on the table at the wedding. Needless to say I have been embarrassed by my lack of wrapping ability but no longer. I am cured. I was inspired by my bacon wrapping paper to do a good job and the fact that this is a white elephant gift so I don't have the pressure to impress anyone. Anyways, I kicked ass and took names. It's plain for sure but I learned how to do it finally. It only took 29 years. Booyah!  

Cookin' Good in da hood!

This picture was taken at the Cookin' Good viewing party last night at the Spider House. Cookin' Good is a cooking show with two eccentric sisters hosting, Arcie and Shasta Cola, whose righteous curls are as thick as their Texas accents. The audience was treated to an episode from the first season and a more recent episode. The turn out was pretty good and there were some Arcie and Shasta Cola superfans. Personally, I love watching the show because you never know what is going to come out of Shasta's mouth and Arcie is a goddess in the kitchen. Plus, their hair and the height it achieves puts my flat hair to shame. Shasta is on the far left, my friend J is the only man in the bunch, I am wearing green and Arcie is right next to me. Check out the show every Tuesday night at 10 o'clock on the Austin Access Channel (CH. 16), you will learn to cook some "special" chocolate chip cookies and other goodies and your minds will be enlightened. Plus, I know that their are looking for an intern and I am hoping that it could me! I think I could be the Latin Cola sister, Coca Cola. 

Pharmaco Karma!

This holiday season I decided that I didn't want to work in a mall or at a vet's office, I decided to sell myself for science. Well, more for the 6 days of medical research and the 1,000 dollars they pay you when the study is complete. I signed up for two studies and both times I was told that I could do neither. Curious why I wasn't a good candidate? I thought I was a good candidate. I have a good body mass index, I don't do any illicit drugs, smoke or drink alcohol. The only thing that got me disqualified was the fact that I am on hormonal birth control pills. We'll given a choice of the study or the pill, I'd take the pill any day of the week. I spent too many years stressed out with pregnancy scares to drop my pill like a bad habit. The only sucky thing is that they can not tell you that the study requires you to be off any drugs while signing up on the phone. They tell you to bring it along and ask the study people. I guess I can see their point of view. I mean if a person was told that they couldn't be on birth control and that stupid person went off of their pill and got pregnant then that person might argue that it was the medical researchers fault. Not me, I waited too damn long to get insurance to not be taking my pill. But I can't help but wonder if this is some kind of cosmic justice for running out on one of their studies a couple of years earlier. I signed up for a study that had some ridiculous amount of money but it was like four weekends plus some outpatient visits. Well, I passed the screening, the urine analysis, bloodwork, EKG and I wasn't on the pill (too poor). I was perfect. They signed me up to return for a physical. On my return visit I was pointed in the direction of that particular study's waiting room and it was packed. Now crowds don't normally make me nervous but it looked like every crazy homeless person that I recognized and personally knew from all my years of working at a library had signed up for that study. I started to panic because it was hard to deal with some of those crazy people at work let alone have to be sequestered with them for 3 days in a ward. I decided to push down my fear and go and sign my name up on the list and I was the 50th person to sign up and wasn't going anywhere for a while. So I sat down but I could feel the panic start to build in me. They gave us lists on what we could not take in to the facility as easy reading. I decided that breathing deeply and distracting myself with looking at other things in the room might calm me down. I looked to the left and their was a girl with purple hair and a nose piercing and I swear I could see bugs in her hair. The guy on the left smelled like he crapped himself and was mumbling under his breath. I didn't mind them at all but the fact that I couldn't bring a vat of hand sanitizer, RID or any anti-fungal medications started to eat away at me. I am kind of a germaphobe. The longer I sat there the more I started to get that deer in the headlights look. I had to get out of there before I got lice or something. I calmly stood up and walked slowly to the door. I made it to the hallway when I was confronted by a young lady sitting on a chair in the hallway. I seriously think she was sitting there to prevent bolters from running out of there. I wonder if that happens often. Anyways, she looked at me suspiciously at first but I smiled saying that I left something in the car that I was going to run out and get. She looked at me and nodded. Then came the hard part of walking calmly out of the building but as soon as I was out of those doors, I ran to my car jumped in it, started the engine and peeled out of that parking lot and floored it till I got home. When I got home you figured I was Lady Macbeth because I was scrubbing my hands so hard to get them clean. Later, they called me three times to get me to come back for that physical but I couldn't do it. Looking at that girl's hair that moved occasionally and had as much life as a rain forest kept me from picking up that phone. So, that's why I think I am not so lucky with medical studies right now. Karma is a bitch. I guess I will have to try my luck doing something else.

Let us not say goodbye but Au Revoir, Mr. Darcy!

Well, yesterday was the day the Mr. Darcy was accepted in to the Austin Humane Society. I was really sad to see him go but it was time to see him with an owner. I have too many cats and he needs someone who love him for the big furry man cat that he is. Plus, I got bitched at by the apartment people that I kept taking care of the strays, so now I have to be a little covert when and where I feed my outdoor kitties. He was becoming a problem. Every time we came home he would almost get hit by a car just to get to us. So I think we made the right decision. He had spent the last couple of days with us hanging out in my sister's bathroom until he received a clean bill of health from the vet, then he got a bath. He is a good cat with such a sweet disposition. He is huge. I didn't know how big he was until he almost threw my back out when I lifted him up. I must remember to lift with my knees and not with my back. He also has this huge fluffy head and catcher's mitts for paws. I don't think he will have a problem getting adopted since he is such a dapper man. Much like my sister's cat, Don Gato. Mr. Darcy is in the upper left hand corner in the picture and Don Gato is giving you a great view of his ass. As you know Don Gato is no longer with us and he too is missed. I know that these two black and white kitties are going to be just fine where ever they are. Other than that I am still in school. I know, I know, I was hoping it was going to be over soon but I have three finals that I am losing sleep over. The good news is that it will be over soon, so I can get fat and just veg out for the next couple of weeks. I hoping to get a job or sell my self to Pharmaco, a drug research company, but that is another story. Other than that I hope that Mr. Darcy finds his Elizabeth Bennet soon.