My Mom and the Big C...Cancer
Ugh, it's been a while since I did some therapeutic blogging but I've felt compelled to do it recently. My mom who has a whole mess of health problems such as diabetes, gallbladder disease, a hypothyroid and I suspect a case of the crazies also has cancer. I found out just before I was schedule to fly out the next day for my sister's destination wedding in Mexico.
My parents didn't attend because I believe they have a genuine fear of Mexico and who doesn't these days. My mom asked me to tell my sister on her wedding trip. I confess that I kept that little tidbit under my hat till after the wedding. No point in telling them unless they can fly back and do the surgery themselves. I wouldn't do it to them but my mom was surprised, nonetheless, that I hadn't informed them. I figured news that personal new deserves to be personally delivered. I think my sister was in a state of shock and even though my mom gave her guilt for still going on her wedding (she didn't know at the time) she still showed up early this morning to see my mom before her surgery.
How did I react when I found out? I have to confess, I don't have a particularly great relationship with my mom but that phone call still devastated me. Cancer is pretty terrify. I've known more people who've died of cancer than survived it. So I was nervous. My family has no history of cancer and I kind of knew that if I eat right and exercise I would avoid the biggies that kill most of my family members, diabetes complications and congestive heart failure. So, now I have to worry about uterine cancer. Alright, bring it on. I am pretty optimistic of my chances. I am very in tune with my body so I hope I can sense when something is not quite right.
During all my mom's testing, somebodyed ask if her daughters would get tested for the cancer gene. I told her no straight up. I am not really interested in knowing, honestly. I haven't had kids yet so I am going to hang on to that possibly problematic uterus for as long as I got. What purpose would it serve me to know in this point of my life. I don't enjoy living in fear.
Honestly, here's what I really wanted after I received this devastating news. My parents to get a divorce. I know someone is wishing me to burn in hell but the one thing I've learned out of life is that you can't make someone love you if they don't. My parents have had a rocky and manipulative marriage as far as I can remember and it has definitely affected my personal relationships. Now, I am not blaming my parents for any of my problems but as far back as I remember, I wished that my parents would find others to be happy with because they weren't with each other. Of course, I went through those years of wishing my parents wouldn't get divorced but after awhile their unhappiness in their marriage just spilled over to being unhappy with their lives. My dad smokes pot 3 times a week minimum while my mom became an emotional eater and shopper whose depression and poor spending habits sucked the very joy out of everything. My mom's depression was especially bad around the holidays. I am still trying to get in the festive mood and I've only just recently put up a Christmas tree. The first in 10 years.
Now, my dad is going to take care of my mom while she recovers. This ought to be interesting. I can only visit. I have to pay off my Mexico trip but maybe this might be the boost they need to either give it a go for old times sake or call it quits, permanently.
So, I am happy that my mom is going to recovery full from cancer. They caught it early enough. No chemo, no radiation needed. Yeah! Now let's see if they can take the next step towards the rest of their lives....hopefully apart.
My parents didn't attend because I believe they have a genuine fear of Mexico and who doesn't these days. My mom asked me to tell my sister on her wedding trip. I confess that I kept that little tidbit under my hat till after the wedding. No point in telling them unless they can fly back and do the surgery themselves. I wouldn't do it to them but my mom was surprised, nonetheless, that I hadn't informed them. I figured news that personal new deserves to be personally delivered. I think my sister was in a state of shock and even though my mom gave her guilt for still going on her wedding (she didn't know at the time) she still showed up early this morning to see my mom before her surgery.
How did I react when I found out? I have to confess, I don't have a particularly great relationship with my mom but that phone call still devastated me. Cancer is pretty terrify. I've known more people who've died of cancer than survived it. So I was nervous. My family has no history of cancer and I kind of knew that if I eat right and exercise I would avoid the biggies that kill most of my family members, diabetes complications and congestive heart failure. So, now I have to worry about uterine cancer. Alright, bring it on. I am pretty optimistic of my chances. I am very in tune with my body so I hope I can sense when something is not quite right.
During all my mom's testing, somebodyed ask if her daughters would get tested for the cancer gene. I told her no straight up. I am not really interested in knowing, honestly. I haven't had kids yet so I am going to hang on to that possibly problematic uterus for as long as I got. What purpose would it serve me to know in this point of my life. I don't enjoy living in fear.
Honestly, here's what I really wanted after I received this devastating news. My parents to get a divorce. I know someone is wishing me to burn in hell but the one thing I've learned out of life is that you can't make someone love you if they don't. My parents have had a rocky and manipulative marriage as far as I can remember and it has definitely affected my personal relationships. Now, I am not blaming my parents for any of my problems but as far back as I remember, I wished that my parents would find others to be happy with because they weren't with each other. Of course, I went through those years of wishing my parents wouldn't get divorced but after awhile their unhappiness in their marriage just spilled over to being unhappy with their lives. My dad smokes pot 3 times a week minimum while my mom became an emotional eater and shopper whose depression and poor spending habits sucked the very joy out of everything. My mom's depression was especially bad around the holidays. I am still trying to get in the festive mood and I've only just recently put up a Christmas tree. The first in 10 years.
Now, my dad is going to take care of my mom while she recovers. This ought to be interesting. I can only visit. I have to pay off my Mexico trip but maybe this might be the boost they need to either give it a go for old times sake or call it quits, permanently.
So, I am happy that my mom is going to recovery full from cancer. They caught it early enough. No chemo, no radiation needed. Yeah! Now let's see if they can take the next step towards the rest of their lives....hopefully apart.
posted by Angelique at 1:53 AM
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