Peaceful Snuggles!

  
I had all this crap that I wanted to write down and tell you guys but instead I blanked out when I sat down at the computer. So, I will distract you with my cootie patootie kitten, Snuggles. He isn't a baby anymore but he is still adorable and he has the most pitiful meow. In the meantime, I am going to get some R&R and think of something brilliant to say...I promise.

The Mystery of the Curious Strand of Curly Hair!

My husband has a hairy chest. You know like the one that they make fun of in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. I like his furry man pelt but I guess some people may not be so fond of it. I was watching the 40 Year Old Virgin and the waxing scene where they try to tame his man chest mane is a painful scene to watch and pointless because I don't find anything wrong with his "Teen Wolf" thing. My husband was visibly cringing during that scene and so was I. My only problem with his chest hair is that I find it everywhere and it is long, dark and curly not unlike pubic hair which is the problem. He sheds it constantly and is worse than my cats. The only sucky part is that he gets his fur in my books some how. I will be at school and someone will ask a question that I can't answer off the top of my head. I whip out my book to answer them, pop it open and there is a curly hair right in the middle of the page just sitting there waiting to embarrass me. You do not know how many times that has happened to me. I tried to play it off a couple of times by quickly exhaling a sigh or coughing on the book. Sometimes, I'll slam the book close very fast but it's no use, they've seen it and they probably think I have the teen wolf thing going. I almost feel that this is a Nancy Drew mystery hence the name of this post. In the meantime, I could ask my husband to do some manscaping but since I like his man fuzz so much I will just have to invest in a better vacuum cleaner.

The Exciting Tale of the Dead Hooker Pad and other Adventures!

I am feeling a little under the weather today. Molds are through the roof here in Austin, TX and I am feeling them. I am riding on a Sudafed, Sucrets and Vitamin C cloud and I hope I don't get any sicker. The hubbie and I spent New Year's in Houston visiting his family. We got to see my in-laws and his brother's family. I miss his kids. They seem to have grown so much in the last 6 months since I last saw them. The only thing I didn't miss is the gross kid stuff they do. You know what I am talking about..the picking of noses then touch every cookie in the cookie jar and their ability to completely make a bathroom impure within minutes. It wouldn't have been so bad but my hubbie's mom let the kids help cook dinner and since I saw where their hands were, it was impossible to eat. I think I lost some weight but my poor husband was more traumatized than I and I am a germaphobe. I love kids but spending time with them scared my ovaries and I wished for a vat of Formula 409 and hand sanitizer.

Since it was crowded at the in-laws house they set us up in a hotel room for our stay. Sweet! I don't know how other couples work but the hubbie and I really try to get our monies worth out of hotels. It is kind of a role playing game but more like the sexual Olympics. Anyways, I get all clean and sweet smelling for my man and then pull back the covers to discover a small pad or blanket that can be seen under the scrunchie sheet bed cover. My thoughts were OMIGOD that is a dead hooker pad to hide the dead hooker stain on this bed. My hubbie noticed that I could not lay down on the bed so he bravely took the sheets off and there was no stain but the mood was ruined. I kept thinking of that damn dead hooker pad. So, this time no nookie but we did hear someone play a sad tuba song in the middle of the night but I doubt that was any conciliation for my hubbie who actually looks forward to these hotel stays.

On New Year's Eve we hung out with my husband's brother and his new wife at Houston's Continental Club. My hubbie's brother went to school with one of the band member's of El Orbits and he wanted to check them out. They place was happening and El Orbit's was awesome. I even enticed my husband to dance. Also, I had a little ego stroking episode at the bar. I sidled up to the bar to get some margaritas and some dude with a New Zealand accent starts to chat me up. As soon as he asks me to dance he notices my wedding ring. He apologizes then proceeds to ask me if I could still meet him later on that night. The nerve of that man. I laughlingly say no because a) he's pathetic and b) my husband is standing right behind me. I informed him that I have been with my husband for 10 years and he replied that he would have married me 15 years ago. I told him he couldn't because that would have been illegal for me since I am only 29 and 15 years ago I was only 14. I don't condone the whole child bride thing. He didn't believe I am married so I have to turn around and ask my husband how long we have been together. You should have seen his face, he just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole. He shook my husband's hand congratulating him on his choice of wife and than proceeded to tell him what he would have do if I were his wife. I am glad I didn't hear that part because he probably would have been wearing my drink and my poor husband would have had to have pried my boot from his ass. I hope he worked his weak ass mojo on another girl but he needed some serious help with his game. Later, at midnight I was so busy tipsily having a good time that I almost missed my New Year's kiss. My husband forcibly whorled me around in his arms and planted one on my lips all man like, it was pretty exciting. Overall, it was a great night and a great trip but the best part of trip, as my husband said, was coming home and I totally agree.