Men's infidelity, is it biological or bogus?
I was watching some late night TV show, I think it was Jay Leno, and one of the guests was Bill Maher. Now, I admit I was distracted by writing a paper but I was listening to their conversation. I believe that Mr. Maher just broke with his long time partner, a woman called Coco Johnsen. I think she is suing him for breach of contract or something because he promised to take care of her. I don't know if that lawsuit has been settled yet but he seemed very cynical about love. He told the audience that men could not be sexually monogamous to one woman. He did back track a little and say that married men should be monogamous but that it was asking too much of a man to dedicate all of his sexual time and energy to one woman. This got me thinking. Is it biology that makes a man stray or is it lack of self control and they are blaming biology? My opinion? I think that a man blaming biology for not keeping his pants zipped sounds very bogus but I think that if he likes it that way and if he finds women who can share, why not? Who am I to judge. I, personally, don't like sharing and thankfully neither does my husband. What do you think? Lack of self control or the need to breed?
posted by Angelique at 10:07 PM
11 Comments:
I think Maher is a prick, have for some time now. It's not biology that makes men cheat, its the men themselves. Not only do I not want to cheat, I want to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with.
That man is constantly putting his foot in his mouth.
I remember that he was some kind of comedian but he wasn't that funny more cranky but I wouldn't be happy either if I was being sued. I had to take a look at this Coco woman and she kind of looks like a porn star. He's bitter but rich, she likes to show her boobs and looking for a sugar daddy, why didn't they marry? Sounds like a marriage made in Hollywood heaven.
OK, let's separate out some of these issues. I leave Maher and his ex to y'all.
The male sexual organ is outside the body. It becomes erect at a temperature shift of 2 degrees. Women learn this while we were in gym in junior high school, we discovered it 10 minutes earlier through experimentation.
Go back 50 thousand years. Humans are not reading or writing yet, may not be using language yet. There are no singles bars. Everything is instinct. Problem, how does the woman get the man to take care of her need, the one that came from a ton of hormones being dumped into her blood stream and that urge to copulate rising to a level where she has to do something.
These things still happen to women, and to men. But, the planet needed populating. If you were designing the 'system' that needs to include populating the planet, and not each coupling leads to a pregnancy, how would you design it? I have to run to a meeting at 7 am. I'll be back.....seems someone else said that first.
I think that biology plays a big factor in men's sex drives. I think some men, like Maher, use that to make excuses for cheating. There are other ways to get off besides having sex with multiple women, it's just that it's not as fun so men don't want to do that. I guess they'd rather cheat...
Monty, men are so in tune with their bodies. I had to take some crappy class in high school that was just to teach the girls how to put condoms on. Even in my health/sex ed class we never learned about sex, we just watched reruns of the "Wonder Years." Hey, I grew up in Texas, their sex ed program is laughable and they teach abstinence only or at least they did when I was a kid.
I get that there is a biological imperative to breed and pass on you genes to the next generation. Around 50K the world is a big place. Modern humans have already edged out Neanderthals and Homo erectus is getting squeezed out, too. The world is a big place but they had a material cultural seen in stone tools, fire and burial meaning that they at least had some kind of social structure. Maybe permanent pair bonding, seen in wolves and in gibbons, began as a social contract that later morphed into marriage. Women provide sex and children and the men provided food and protection plus he helps around the cave and ensures that his kids grow up and perpetuate his line. I can tell just by looking at the human population that there is not much variation of height and weight between the sexes meaning that that there is not a lot sexual dimorphism in our particular species unlike seals or baboons, where the male is easily 2 times bigger than the female. This small variation in weight and size is seen in animals that don't compete for females meaning that males are mostly monogamous. So, I am guessing that monogamy has had a long past with homo sapiens. These are just my thoughts. Hasta la vista, baby!
Jen, I agree. I think that Maher got busted and he is justifying himself. I agree there are plenty of ways to entertain one's self but I sometimes think that a man who cheats is not really commited to the relationship and is just looking for a way out. Maybe it's the guy equivalent of the "Your a nice guy" talk by women.
Sorry Kitty, but I need to ask Monty about erections being caused by a two degree shift in the temperature.
Is that true?
I think I've been doing it wrong all these years.
OK, on the monogamy thing, I think it is easier for Maher and others to talk about the biology and the evolution of humanity than to just come right out and say something like, "You know Jay, I was just being an ass."
Apostle John, I want to know about this two degree shift in temp, too. I am a girl so I don't know all of the workings of guy parts. I agree, I think it's easier for people to make excuses than to admit they messed up. Life is all about temptation, following through with it is that person's personal decision.
I got this from WebMD on erections:
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/57/66222.htm
I got the 2 degree stimuli from Masters and Johnson's "Human Sexual Response" but I can't find it on-line or here in my library. Old book anyway, you should use more current research.
Since you accept the biological imperative, you have defined an instinct from tens of thousands of years ago that exists today. Today, we are also more in touch with ourselves than before.
I got hit on the other night, by two *very* attractive guys. I had no problems turning down their invitation since i am a heterosexual. On the other hand, I did go home singing "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story.
I do not deny that people can find themselves in a situation with another person, where neither could keep their hands off the other, and they don't know each other. Although it doesn't happen frequently, I know it happens from more than one female friend. I find that more excusable because of its spontenaity than two people who have prolonged affairs.
Let's see where this goes.
When you stroke, rub, etc. you raise the temperature in the local area. Of course, you're going to ask about walking around outside as it gets warmer in the morning. As long as I don't touch myself....
I think this discussion is going to die, unless Jenn tells me where else to go for sex besides another woman, and it's not going to be a guy either, nor an animal.....back to my hand?
LOL! I am sorry but I just pictured you in my head singing, "I feel pretty!" I think if you are married the only person that should be getting your rocks off is your partner or yourself (the hand or toys or walking.) But yeah, I think this discussion is done. Poke it with a fork.
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