Ushering A New Era of Karaoke with My Sister!

I finally went and showed my sister my styling karaoke skills. We went to a new bar that I had never been to before. It was a small hole in the wall place that seemed to be full of regular karaoke singers that could really sing. That kind of sucked because I don't really sing very well but what I don't have for musical talent I make up with my dance moves. I signed up to sing two songs. After waiting for a good while I got called up and dragged Amy with me and we sang "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield. I picked this song because Amy loves Rick Springfield and we did a pretty good job of butchering that song up. We received applause from the audience and one of the bartenders even came by and told us how brave we were. I don't know if that was good or bad but I will take it as good. Well, I waited to sing my second song and it took forever and the place got packed fast. The crowd was lively and I would have had a better time if I hadn't been sick and the crowd wasn't smoking. I was kind of in hell because I couldn't breathe very well but finally I was called for my second song. I get up on the stage to sing my swan song, that's right folks "Baby Got Back" and Amy got up too, but to dance only. That's cool. I sang the song to the best of my ability and even though I wasn't feeling a 100% I did a pretty good job of getting the crowd dancing thanks to Amy and Kerri who were my back up dancers. Thanks girls! I need to go back and try it again when I am feeling better but I think our plans are to go to a masquerade party next Friday at our dance place. It ought to be awesome!

P.S. I mean to keep taking pictures but I keep forgetting my camera. I promise to do better in the future and to prove that my sister, Amy, is not a figment of my imagination.

How not to creep out your dance partner class 101!

I enjoy taking Salsa classes and my sister has been cool enough to go and hang with me at my dance classes. This a little list on how not to creep out your dance partner which should be helpful if you are a newbie.


1. Do not creep out your dance partner. You can creep out your partner a multitude of ways and being to nosy is one of them. I don't want to be asked a 101 questions and I don't want to hear about your problems. This reminds me of a guy who was trying to pick me up by asking me all kinds of questions like how I was feeling, how my day was and what I did today all in the same breath. I admit I was getting annoyed so I said..."Good, Fine and I dissected cats today, thank you for asking." I admit that shut his ass right up and it was totally true, too. I am taking an Anatomy class and I dissected a cat in lab. You should have seen his face it was priceless! Overall, keep it light and entertaining.

2. Dance with a respectful space unless your female dance partner says or does otherwise. I like dancing close with dancers who know what they are doing. It means that I am confident in your ability to lead not that I want to go out with you. If you are new, don't even do that shit, the girl will take back her space forcibly and it just makes you look desperate and perverted. I don't enjoy dancing in someone's crotch, it's icky.

3. Don't hold her hand too long. I hate it when the music stops and step away from your dance partner yet he is still clinging to your damn hand. Not cool. I say this because recently this happened to me and I needed a crowbar to pry my hand from his sweaty, meaty palm. That is soooo not hot. My excuse is that I am sweaty and I need to wipe my palms but if I have to tell you this, you are holding my hand way too long.

4. Look for wedding bands. People may think this is a given but you would be amazed how men do not look for that all important wedding ring. Save yourself the embarrassment of asking a married woman out unless you are into that kind of thing. In that case be prepared to duck since I will slap a mofo's face for that shit.

5. Don' follow a girl to her car. This is a given if you just met the girl in dance class. I have multiple containers of pepper spray everywhere and I don't care if you look like a nice guy. If it's the first time I have met you and you follow me to my car, don't try anything funny because I will spray you and then kick you in the balls.

6a. Don't think dirty thoughts about your dance partner because we know. I can tell by a guy's face if is going to ask me out or do something stupid that will require me to either slap his hand or laugh at him. I am not a moron and guys who are desperate enough to try to pick up chicks in a dance class are pretty desperate. Most women are there to learn and then go to clubs to check out the men and to be checked out by them. There is a time and place for everything.

6b. Don't think lewd thoughts about your dance partner after you realize that she has a twin sister. There is nothing more creepier than a guy who thinks he can ask one twin and either can't tell the twin apart or purposefully asks the other twin out. Do you think twins don't talk to each other and that we wouldn't find out? Men are morons. FYI, twins do talk, we even have our own freaking language, and we will make you look very stupid and embarrass your ass if you decide to be that dumb.

7. The most important thing...invest in some breath mints. You can be the best dancer in the world but I like conversing a little while dancing and I don't want to smell what you ate for dinner. Most men know this but there is always that one guy who I can barely stand because of his kicking breath and I just nod through out the whole conversation while dancing.



I know this list sounds kind of mean but I have been taking classes for a while and these are just a few of the things I wish people would observe. I know it seems a little sexist but I am a girl so I only know what bugs me. If any one wants to post a guy's point of view or tips, I am happy to check them out!

I swear it looked like window wiper fluid!

As you know my car is on its last leg and I just fill it with occasional fluids to keep it going. Well, I have been out of window wiper fluid in my car for 3 weeks and my car's windshield was pretty nasty and I could barely see out of it. In the move my dad gave me a steam cleaner and some carpet cleaner to clean the carpet in my apartment. Well, I brought in the steam cleaner but I thought I lost the cleaner in the move. Anyways, I was filling up my car with brake fluid when I noticed a gallon of blue fluid. Okay, I know I should have made the connection but I didn't and I believed it to be window wiper fluid. So, I filled up my car's window wiper fluid reservoir with carpet cleaner and I didn't realize it until the next day when I was driving it around. I remember driving and deciding to clean the windshield but when it dried it left some white residue so I squirted the windshield again but it just kept spreading. I keep squirting and it keeps getting worse, so bad that half of my windshield is obscured by white residue so badly that I can not see through it. Yet I still am using that damn fluid to try to get my windshield clean. Finally, I figure it out and I gasp in horror believing that I just fucked up my fucked up car even more. Well, I drove home rinsed out the reservoir by squirting the fluid out and filling it up with water but it looks like no damage was done. It's kind of sad I know but the worst part is that I had put the remainder of the fluid in my husband's car, too. So, I had to sneak out while he was asleep to fix it but I can never lie to him and I broke down and told him the truth. His response was, "That is so like you, that is so Angelique" and he is totally right. Just wait a minute and I will do something to embarrass myself. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it...

Chinese Secret, huh? No Secret! I Love Animal Acupuncture!

My Big Kitty, who is suffering from Inflammatory Bowel Disease, went to the vet again. She is now a shell of her former self and this last past week she hasn't moved much. I know that she will eventually succumb to IBD by making her body slowly starve because her intestinal tract is not able to absorb nutrients from her food because of her inflamed intestines. She looks gaunt and she is sleeping a lot. I took her to a veterinarian that I usually take all my birds to. She is pretty cool and she is in animal chiropractor and is also licensed in acupuncture. She examined Big K and ordered up some blood work and a urinary analysis. She gave me some medications to help boost her immune system. Now, I confess I have never been into the whole new age/holistic healing medicine but I am willing to do it for her since she is very ill and I just want her to be comfortable and happy. The veterinarian checked out her spine and was doing a massage move and you can see Big K turn into a puddle and practically fall asleep in the exam room. This is very unusual because she hates the vet and her eyes are saucers until a day after the vet visit, she is that disturbed. The veterinarian then recommended some acupuncture treatments to help boost her immune system. I consented because if she loved that back move so much maybe the idea of being a kitten pin cushion would be relaxing. The doctor proceeded to put pins in my cat. They were very small needles and she didn't even move a muscle. In fact, she would have fallen asleep if it weren't for me and my sister talking to the vet tech and being utterly amazed at the look of contentment on her face. I wish I had my camera. I keep forgetting it lately and I have missed out on some good stuff to show you. Later, after I went home Big K slept the day away which they told me would be normal. The next day she seemed happier and more alert. She looked so much better that the next time I go we may have to sign up together for a session, a kind of mother and daughter day of acupuncture. I believe it helped her but I am still waiting on the blood tests to come back. I hope that everything will come back okay. I'll keep you updated.

Green Uggs and Ham!

I went shopping with my sister for the first time in a long time. We were hanging out and I stopped and fell in love with a pair of green Uggs. I know my joke was that Uggs was short for ugly-ass shoes but they were green! Okay, I have this green obsession, love, whatever you want to call it for green things. It's just the way I am. So, I am in love with these green Uggs that feel like you are walking on a cloud and my sister has this look on her face like I am crazy. She came from Miami and laughed at people who wore Uggs on that one cold day of the year because it always around 75 degrees out but here in Texas it can get a little nippy. She didn't like them at first but then she tried them on and thought they were pretty comfy, too! So, she bought them for me as a gift. She is awesome and even though she thinks that I am wearing shoes that look like I poached Kermit the Frog, I know that she will be wearing them, too!

Getting together!

I love hanging out with my friends. It took a while but I finally found some friends that have a dirtier sense of humor than I do. I went out tonight and my sister, Amy, came along. She sometimes feels that she is a fifth wheel but I don't see it that way. I have bored my friends long and hard on how wonderful and beautiful my sister is and finally they got to meet her and they loved her! She had such a blast! I am glad that she is getting out and being social and people love her. She is interesting and funny as hell. We are making plans to go out next Friday and sing some karaoke. I feel that she needs to be introduced to my favorite song, Baby Got Back. I know I am corrupting her but it will be sooooo awesome and I am definitely getting some pictures and posting them. So keep your eyes peeled a picture of us singing a duet and shaking our rumps.

What an idiot!?!

You know I have to bore you with the stories of my life. Well, today something completely hilarious happened today and when I say hilarious I really mean kind of stupid and possibly painful for someone else. I have this Microbiology class that has a lab component. Now the lab is fun because we get to play with fire and grow some microbes. Well, today we had to inoculate bacteria on a nutrient agar plate with a spreader which looks like a small plastic spatula. One of my classmates, no names here, is an idiot. He always comes in late, he never knows what he is doing and he does everything wrong and in the most unsafe way possible. We had to dip the spreader in a beaker of alcohol and put it quickly in to the flame and the alcohol burns off pretty fast. Well, moron-man, dipped the spreader into the alcohol and put in the flame but kept it there until it started to melt. He freaked out and put the spreader back in the vial of alcohol. Yep, that was a stupid move, fire + alcohol= bigger fire. The beaker is on fire now and he bends over and blows the flame out quickly. The teacher is telling him to place something over the beaker to smother it like a book and dumbass puts his hand over the beaker. Thank God he blew the flame out. Anyways, the class is stunned by his stupidity but then we all burst out laughing when he looks at the spreader and it has melted over itself. The teacher goes into the next adjacent room to get a new spreader and you can hear the teacher and her teaching assistant laughing their asses off. Man, that made my day. Every time I feel like I am lost in class and I have no idea what I am doing this guy comes along and makes me feel better.

Finding My Identity

I am a twin and that's pretty cool. I always had someone to play with, fight with and I never was alone. Then my sister moved away. We were best friends and poof, she was gone. I realized that I really didn't have any best friends besides my sister. I, also, realized that I had no idea on how to go about making friends. It seems that just in these last five years, I have made some friends that I call "keepers". You know the friends that I love to hang out with and even though we may not agree, I love them anyway. Now, my sister is back in town. I love her to death and I am happy that she is back but I am afraid of losing my identity that took me so hard to build. Twins are perceived as one entity. I realize this when my sister and I went to our high school reunion and everyone called us "the Twins". It felt weird after being called Angelique for the past 8 years. Also, people always labeled us, too. My sister was the "Outgoing Twin" and I, "The Quiet Twin". It feels weird, like people are not taking the time to get to know us. I agree my sister is very loud and is interested in having fun and I am a boring married person who likes to have fun, too. I think that it's important for me to not to believe the labels that people give us and just learn to be confident and happy in my self because it could be worse and she could not be here at all and that would suck because the older I get the more I need to be closer to my sister.

Creepy bastards and my poor outdoor kitties!

I have been so freaking busy lately but mostly I am just recovering from the stress of moving. Is that so weird? I loved my old apartment even though we were living in a shoebox. The new apartment is much bigger. My sister is living with us so it's kind of fun to hang out with her and my husband is enjoying the fact that he now has two women who are cleaning and cooking for him. My sister is enjoying herself by enrolling herself in some dance classes and I have to say the woman charmed every man in that joint. It's great having her around. The only thing is that she attracts Peeping Toms. When she lived in Miami, she busted someone looking in her window. Last night she kept hearing someone talking and she busted some guy walking away from her window around 4:30 in the morning. Our apartment is kind of tucked away so this guy was up to no good. The good news is that she knows what he looks like and she is getting some curtains up pronto. My husband and I checked out the view but the man must have X-ray vision or something because we couldn't see anything. Creepy bastard. Hey, he better watch out because I have this new can of pepper spray that I have been itching to use.

The really sad part of us moving is that some of our outdoor kitties don't know where we live now. We just live two complexes down but when I tried moving the cat feeding bowl across the common area to our new apartment, they didn't not follow it. It doesn't help that the area is well traveled and filled with college students who get drunk every night and holler at chics. Only one outdoor cat knows where we are, Calico Kitty. My other two, Babooner and Siamese Kitty didn't make the transition. This sucks! I fed them for 4 years and I am so attached to them but sometimes this happens. They are feral cats and are used to providing for themselves but I wonder if they will get enough to eat. It will be cold soon and I can't help but worry about these things. I will keep trying to find them and feed them but it looks like they have disappeared for now.

Oops, sorry!

Where the hell have I been? I have been moving since last Thursday and I finally got all of my stuff moved over to my new apartment. I am amazed at how much crap I have accumulated over the years. I am tired and I smell plus I have school this week so I am busy as hell. The good news is that Amy is here and she is settling in nicely. She was really worried about her cat adjusting to my brood of 4 cats but he is doing great and I have no worries about him. Overall, I am dead tired and I will do a proper post tomorrow after a couple of drinks.